Just venting

One thing I really hate about relationships is how you are expected to befriend anyone they are friends with. Why? Just because he likes someone doesn't mean they are my kind of friend.

In my 34 years, I've been through many types of friendships. Some really great and will last forever, some are fair weather (they'll be coming and going), and some people that are "friends" because they need something from you. So, I sort of consider myself to be an expert on friends.

Now, Eric has a friend. They've been friends since they we're kids, 20 + years. I hear this a lot. There was a falling out several months ago between he and his wife and somehow I became a pawn in his game he was playing with her. And this was definitely NOT by choice! Well, because this friend of 20+ years hasn't even had the nerve to confront me to talk or apologize or accuse, or make any type of conversation, I have refused to allow him to be part of MY life. Not Eric's. As far as im concerned, he can spend as much time with him as he wants.

My personal analysis of the friend of 20+ years and Eric's relationship is this: this friend will use and abuse anyone. He comes around and calls only when he needs something. Once that is done, he's gone. Well, I guess either Eric has put up with this so long that he doesn't care anymore or he doesn't realize it. For all I know, he may not have been this way forever. But, because I know the difference, I refuse to be a part of this friendship.

But being the girlfriend, I feel like I should give Eric an honest assessment of what the relationship really is. As I do, I realize I have hurt him more than helped him. Now he feels used and inadequate. What I hate is that this person could mean so much to him that it can make him feel so bad. That must mean at some point over the last 20+ years this guy had a good streak.

I don't know if I should suck it up and pretend this guy never used me as his pawn in his little game or stand my ground and hope Eric will realize that this guy is NOW just a manipulating, cold hearted person that he doesn't need to make his life whole (sometimes this is the feeling I get as I hear about 20+ years guy). It's a struggle to find a common ground in this situation.

Just venting....

Jill