a hint for my one dedicated reader...

Here is your hint for my birthday gift, Eric.

who reads this???

so, i've come to notice that no one reads my blog. That's ok with me. Most of the time it's just rambling anyways. I am not a very good writer and actually just created this because my sister had one and i thought it was a neat way to keep up with each others lives (outside of the mandatory myspace and facebook). I should have known that at some point this would end in disaster as things most likely do for me. now, the one blog that i actually looked forward to reading is gone. granted, it tended to really piss me off sometimes, because it was my sister's and we don't always agree, but i still looked forward to reading it and sort of knowing what was going on in her life. besides that, she is a great writer. waaaaay better than i am.

Anyways, Amy if you are reading this (which i highly doubt), i really hate that you quit blogging because i think it is something that you loved. I could be wrong, but for once i don't think that i am.

today

so now is the part where we are supposed to try and make everything better. I wish this was easier. it would have been if i'd taken things slower and been a little more cautious from the get-go. but, this is my life and he is the one that i love, so now i try harder than i've ever tried before to make things work. one last big push....

root for me. pray for me. just try to think good thoughts for me.

Tonight

my heart is broken. i am so lost. it's hard to figure out where to go from here. What used to be so perfect seems to be destroyed.

i cannot sleep. i just lie there and cry.

i wish i could let it all out, but there is no one to talk to that would understand it all. i pray and hope for some relief.

Labor Day....

It's Labor day and this means summer is almost over and fall is around the corner. For some of us, anyways!

For me, it means hurricane season is almost over and so far, so good! It also means new fall premiers on my fav television shows!! My favorite holiday is quickly approaching - MY BIRTHDAY!!! (Oct. 27th for those who didn't know). Thanksgiving follows that which means good times with the food and family! I think I said that backwards, or did I?? LOL! From Thanksgiving we will roll into Christmas, which for me this year, could be a blessing or a complete and utter disastor. I'm not really looking forward to seeing how that plays out, but I will try not to dwell on it and enjoy the change in season.

Speaking of changes, I am currently looking into buying a new house. I am exploring all my options out there. So, if anyone reads this and has any advice, I will gladly take it.

Hope everyone's Labor Day is great!!

Good Friends Are Hard to Come By

So, i went on and on in a previous blog about Eric's friend of 20+ years that has screwed everyone over, but he still wants to be friends with him. Well, I guess that's biting me in the ass.

I just got a facebook message from a "friend" that pretty much used me for money. After about a year and a half, she has decided to apologize and wants to repair our friendship. I am not sure how I feel about this. There was a time when we spent every moment together. We had a lot of fun and had a lot in common. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of loaning her money. I mean, the occassional 20 dollar loan was no big deal, picking up a tab at the bar, or grabbing dinner for her. BUt it seemed to happen A LOT!! And then, when she is in dire straights and had no money, but really needed to get into an apartment, I came to the rescue! With the promise of pay back with her income tax refund. Of course, that never happens, but I continue to listen to her excuses. After her tax refund was spent, she decides to pay me out of the stimulus check. I never saw a penny. There was always an excuse. But, I was always understanding because I had been there and knew what it was like to not have money when i needed it. Of course, I was also in my teens and early 20's, not my 30's. So, now I am at a loss. IS there a chance that she has grown up and truly does want to repair our friendship, or is this a ploy because she has pissed everyone else off because she now owes them money????

And, for the record, Eric doesn't like her. So we are running neck and neck on this friend issue....

I'll tell you, good friends are hard to come by. So, when you have them, cherish them....

So, Labor Day weekend is coming up. I vow not to think about any of this. I will spend my long weekend enjoying good friends, good food, and GREAT FUN!!!

Thought for the day....