Forgive and forget.... We've all heard it a million times. The forgiving I can do, it's the forgetting part I'm struggling with.
I just think that betrayal takes ahold of a relationship and basically strangles it to death. That's how I feel. Like I'm choking on every word I say to him because I want to feel what I'm saying, but I don't. Maybe with time it'll get better. Or maybe it'll get worse. I am one that tends to dwell on things which would lead me to believe the latter. I want to be optimistic and believe this person could love me enough to change and never do this to me again. I really, really, really want to.
I'm not quite there yet though. I'm still dwelling on the past. This changes the memories I had in so many ways. The good has turned ugly in my head.
So, where do I go from here? I'm just letting God take the lead on that. This is just a brief therapy session by way of blog.... Any constructive advice would be appreciated.
I've got a thousand other good things on my plate to keep me busy though. I'll get into those things on my next blog (which will be coming in a more timely fashion than this one).
Jill
There is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. Authentic forgiveness will allow you to move on in your relationship, but I believe that God allows us to remember the pain on ocassion so that we have a gentle reminder of how great a gift is forgiveness. I try to remember this, "who am I not to forgive, if the Lord forgives all?" It helps me keep my pride in check. And when those memories creep in of all of the bad things from the past, I just try to say, "Lord, thank you for your unconditional love and forgiveness." And then, I move on (quickly!) from those memories because Proverbs 17:22 says "a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
ReplyDeleteLove you, sister. Keep praying about it and giving it to the Lord and the burden will get lighter.
Absolutely perfect! A wonderful way to chronicle the life of Princess Pea.....
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